“My crush said” videos have been all over Tiktok for days. In these videos, girls share the extreme lengths they’ve gone to impress their crush. From drastic changes in appearance to adopting new hobbies, the stories shared are as varied as they are unsettling. While on the surface, these anecdotes may elicit a chuckle or two, a deeper examination reveals the underlying sadness behind this phenomenon.
PEOPLE-PLEASING HERE IS SCARY
The pressure to please others and do by societal standards of attractiveness and desirability has long been a pervasive force in our lives. However, the “My Crush Said” trend amplifies this pressure to an alarming degree. Girls find themselves bending over backward to fit into an idealized image of what they believe their crush desires, sacrificing their authenticity in the process. The fear of rejection looms large, driving individuals to prioritize the validation of others over their own sense of self-worth.
@bethandwhattLooking awfully happy for a cultural appropriater 🤨♬ Gnarls Barkley Crazy Stephen Kramer Glickman – Gustavo Rocque
MY CRUSH SAID YOU’RE DESPERATE.. SORRY
Implicit in the premise of “My Crush Said” is the notion that one’s worth is contingent upon the approval of another. By placing the power to validate or reject them in the hands of their crush, participants unwittingly surrender their autonomy. Moreover, the potential for humiliation and ridicule is ever-present, as evidenced by the derisive responses that some videos garner. In seeking validation from others, individuals open themselves up to exploitation and emotional manipulation, further perpetuating a cycle of insecurity and dependency.
MAKING FUN OF IT IS EVEN MORE SAD
The real crisis here is that online audiences think this is okay. The cavalier attitude with which some participants recount their exploits serves to trivialize the underlying desperation and insecurity driving their actions. What begins as a harmless jest can quickly devolve into a harmful reinforcement of toxic relationship dynamics. By making light of their own vulnerability, individuals risk perpetuating harmful stereotypes and perpetuating a culture of emotional detachment and superficiality.
We might seem a bit grumpy, but hear us out. Here’s our advice– because the editor used to be this extreme in people-pleasing–: Don’t go overboard just to get attention. The right people won’t require all that extra effort.
